Transformers

Here it is summer again and the blockbusters are coming out. This is Michael Bey’s newest effort, produced by Bey and Steven Spielberg, and is based on the Saturday morning cartoon about the nefarious Megatron, and the benevolent (but tough) Optimus Prime.
This is not, however, a cartoon. Remember when we were kids (or when I was . . .) and those wonderful monster movies were coming out of Japan? Godzilla and Rodan, Mothra and the Mysterions? We loved those movies, largely because of an ability we had as kids, and of which we have retained little or nothing as adults, which allowed us to extrapolate what we saw and heard, and expand it into what we wanted to see and hear. We watched monsters on visible strings, monsters which were obviously actors in poorly made costumes, live actors with no ability to act whatsoever, bad production quality, the worst models and miniatures in history (most of the military hardware was literally toys purchased retail) and special effects so bad even ten-year olds weren’t fooled. But that was enough. Our imaginations took over and transformed what was on the screen into what we wished to see and through some kind of inner eye, we did see it. We were able to transcend the primitive attempts and turn them into hearts desires. A start was all we needed. The recent Godzilla is a perfect example.
Now, a few directors understand that technology is catching up to imagination. A few. People like Bey and Peter Jackson.
Transformers is the movie kids saw when they watched the cartoons. It is wonderful. The plot (with the proviso that we accept technologically advanced, sentient robots) is extremely well thought-out. The characters are believable and, more to the point, likable; people we can root for, without their being reduced to being caricatures. The side stories are perfect, the romance is kept at its proper level for this kind of movie, and everyone turns in a great performance. John Turturro and John Voight are especially good.
The movie manages to maintain a high level of suspense, with a sense of realism I wasn’t expecting, i.e. a very real, serious emergency with adults reacting just as seriously, and behaving intelligently for the most part, while it gives us moments to breath with humor that is so well timed and placed it is absolutely seamless.
Making the main characters teen-agers was brilliant. Not only does it increase our empathy, but it will draw lots more people to the theaters. Kids like movies about themselves.
But the star of the show is it’s special effects. Perfect, seamless CGI—and lot’s of it. The Transformers and brilliant, “grown-up” versions of their cartoon predecessors. They have emotions, they give us comical moments as they try to interact with humans, and they make us want them to succeed against the bad guys (evil Transformers led by Megatron).
It is edge-of-your-seat fun from beginning to end. I believe it will be too intense for little kids, say under eight or so, but other than that almost anyone can go and find something to like. Not that it matters, but the two female leads (neither of which I’ve seen before) are drop-dead gorgeous. The Army captain is, I have it on good authority, smokin’ as well.
The movie is rated PG-13. There isn’t a cussword in sight, no sexual innuendo at all, much less sex scenes (although there is some romantic innuendo—remember, it’s teenagers), no graphic up-close, personal violence and no gore or blood at all. There is lots of the other kind of violence—the explosive, action-dense, mayhem kind—and no death, other than the bad Robots. A few humans might be presumed to die but only peripherally and at a distance. I highly recommend it to people of all ages. It is as good an action-adventure movie as I have ever seen, and a very pleasant surprise.

Stardust

I’m bummed. I just finished this review and it disappeared. I hate it when I do something and have no idea what it was.Okay. This is another movie in the Fantasy genre, which is in its ascendancy right now. There are at least half-a-dozen more coming out or in production, including the next in the Narnia series, Prince Caspian.Starring Charlie Cox, Clare Danes, Michelle Pfeiffer, and Robert De Niro, with a small role by Peter O’toole, and narrated by Ian McKellen (Who I thought was O’Toole all the way through the movie.)This one takes place in England, near a small village called Wall. It is called that because there is an old stone wall separating this world from another, called Stormhold. Our hero, Tristan, vows to go over the wall (which is never done) to retrieve a fallen star and bring it back to a girl who does not love him, but is willing to marry him if he impresses her. Pretty straightforward, right? But, as tales such as this often do, things go from bad to worse. Several other people are trying to get to the fallen star as well. The star, of course, is Clare Danes. In Stormhold, stars turn into beautiful young women when the fall to earth. They head back to Wall but fall into lots of adventures, encounters, troubles, challenges and mysterious situations, mostly as a result of Michelle Pfeiffer, who, along with her two sisters, is a very naughty witch. They hope to capture the star and cut her heart out so they can be young again, and based on the make-up, it’s been a really long time since they were even middle-aged.Five princes are also looking for the star, but they keep killing each other off because they dad (O’Toole, the king) is dying. It’s a family tradition. At some point the star-crossed lovers (pretty good, huh?) run into Robert De Niro, a pirate captain, and his cutthroat crew. De Niro is both more and less than he seems, and helps the kids on their way. His character, the captain, is done to perfection. It’s worth the price of admission (discounted of course) to see De Niro do his thing. Very unexpected, but that’s all I’ll say about that. Needless to say, the entire mess is sorted out two minutes before the credits roll, and the young lovers are saved, marry and have thirty-six kids. (Not really).This is not a great movie, but it is a good movie. It is rated PG and had nothing objectionable in it (rating wise). Nita really liked it and I enjoyed it as well.

Resident Evil: Extinction

The good news is, there’s a sequel! This was number three and there will be a number four. You can’t have too many zombies. Obviously this is another in the Resident Evil series, starring Mila Jovovich, who reprises her role as Alice, the strange, enigmatic, survivor of research-gone-horribly-wrong at the Umbrella Corporation, a multi-national conglomerate of genetic researchers, who, based on their track record, are really zombie manufacturers. Her blood is the key to a vaccine needed to save the human race from the walking, eating, dead. This time, the virus has spread and the whole world is a vast wasteland, with a few human survivors and lots and lots of gnarly dead people vying for what little living flesh is left. It takes place mostly in daylight, which is a departure from the genre formula, and it works. Alice falls in with a caravan of survivors, a motley crew of adults and children, traveling in several vehicles, (Hummer II, Army Duce and a half, school bus, television van and a tanker truck,) radically retrofitted for safety in the new world. They are led by a woman named Claire, played by Ali Larter (the girl who suffers from Multiple Personality Disorder and kills people by tearing them to pieces in “Heroes”). Her right hand man is Oded Fehr, the actor who played that cool tattooed guy who led the Feydahin in The Mummy. An evil scientist (working for Umbrella) played by Lain Glen, is looking for Alice—he needs her blood to make an army of domesticatable, virus-infected zombies so he can rule the world. Guess what happens to him . . . . .?There is the requisite killing and gore and slow-motion effects, cool fight sequences and bloody death. Alice is a killing machine—it’s what she was engineered for. Now, thirty or forty years ago, this would have been the goriest movie ever made and would have been banned, I’m sure. Today, it barely rates an R and I am forced to say that, by today’s standards, this one is pretty tame, mainstream even. (What slippery slope?). Were we to need a rationalization, we would remind the audience that almost everybody who is killed is already dead, and pretty damned evil as well. For the genre, I thought it was great. It delivered everything I wanted it to. Jovovich is stupendous—she has really taken Alice for her own. And this time, she is developing some interesting psionic powers as well. It has a few moments that actually startled me, which is rare. Really, there were autonomic reactions involving several millimeters of motion, more than once. It’s brutal, relentless, and, let’s be serious, pointless. I put it up there in my top twenty of Classic Not-Very-Good-Movies that I like. A lot of it takes place in a deserted, dune-covered Las Vegas (you’ll be able to recognize the road to Lake Mead that cuts through Sunrise Mountain). This movie is, by way of reminder, based on a computer video game. I’ve never played it. I hate video games. But my son assures me that Resident Evil is above average. Which, to me, is kind of like saying that among cancers, rectal is above average. Was that over the line? Let me know . . .Anyway, I liked it mucho-a-lot. Can’t wait for the next one. I’m not even going to tell Nita I saw it. Even that would frighten her. You will hate it. Don’t go. By the way, did you like that word, Feydahin? I made it up.

Freddy and Fredericka

Good evening to you all,I have appeared in your in box in order to recommend a novel, which I have just finished.The title is Freddy and Fredericka, and the author is Mark Helprin, who had become, over the years, one of a handful of writers in my personal pantheon. I will not review the book. Helprin is so gifted and skilled a writer that subjects and genres become unimportant. Each word, each sentence, is a delight, a profound experience.Some of you have read A Winters Tale, also by Helprin, which until now, was the best love story I have ever read. And so much more. Freddy and Fredericka may surpass even that one, although it is a completely different kind of story and style. It is, in turns, humorous, hilarious, bittersweet, poignant, profound, insightful and transcendent. This book, and those like it, are the reason God let us invent writing. These are what is meant by the line "seek ye out of the best books". While not religious, it is profoundly spiritual. At times it is farcical, Pythonesque. Pay close attention to the names. I don't know what you like to read. It doesn't matter--this is better. It is available in large format (6x9) paperback from Pemguin Press. Pick it up, read it. Let me know how you liked it and why, or why not. If you do not, I will tactfully explain where you went wrong.Janice, Aub, Jess, this is an absolute must. Maxine . . . . . . .I have no idea :)>
Feel free to use the library. Yes, its that good.