Resident Evil: Afterlife

Resident Evil: Afterlife

This is the fourth in the apparently endless franchise based on the game I’ve never played—never even seen. None of them are very good, but they star Zombies, so, you know . . . . . .
In this installment, the Umbrella Corporation’s synthetic virus has killed the entire planet and left millions of walking dead illegally loitering.
The film opens with super-powered-up Alice and her super-clones killing a thousand or so heavily armed private mercs, only to be injected with little beasties which render her—the real her—merely human again. But that doesn’t stop her.
Alice is still trying to find and save whatever remnant of humanity might be left, and is following a radio signal from someplace called Arcady, which appears to be in Alaska. She flies up there and finds no sign of anything—just a field of abandoned bush planes and no explanation as to why they are there or what happened to the pilots and passengers. I guess everybody was looking for Arcady, didn’t find it, and killed themselves from the disappointment. (There is a kind of explanation later on, but only obliquely.)
But she does find Claire, (Ali Larter) from movie number three, and they fly down the coast looking for survivors, finally finding some in LA. They have holed-up in a maximum security prison, which is pretty clever—the zombies surround it by the tens-of-thousands, but they can’t get in. Not until, that is, some giant in a rubber suit with a burlap bag over his head, and nails driven into his head and shoulders, comes along with a kind of battle axe, fifteen feet long and made from an engine block, and breaks the gates down. There is no explanation whatsoever about who this guy is, or why he is there. We don’t even know if he is a zombie or not. If not, why aren’t they eating him? If he is, how is he fashioning five-hundred pound weapons, and . . . you know, thinking?
Well . . . I don’t want to give too much away. The supporting cast is fine. The effects are as gruesome and fun as we’ve come to expect over the years. The stunts are totally unbelievable and still great.
The ultimate bad guy—an Umbrella über-president or something—played by Shawn Roberts, tries to do an impersonation of Hugo Weaving as Agent Smith, but it is pathetic. Plus he’s unkillable, and that’s no fun.
There is no rhyme or reason to this story. But that’s okay, because there is no rhyme or reason to Zombies in general—any zombie story is, by definition, illogical, irrational, and unreasonable. So they can pretty much do whatever they want with it, and those of us dumb enough to go watch them get what we deserve. (Raises hand with sheepish grin.)
I went in having already decided I’d like it, and I wasn’t disappointed. It was fun. Grotesque, yes. Deviant, yes. Mindless, yes. Perhaps even Evil (thus the title), but fun. I like the whole back-story of Umbrella Corporation, and the experimentations on Alice, and Raccoon City. I really like Milla Jovovich and Ali Larter—two hot-mamas—and the cool fight scenes. (I think there’s some guys in it too.)
It is in 3-D, which I didn’t know, or forgot. I don’t like 3-D. The effect fades on the periphery, and the special glasses are too dark. It’s like watching a movie with sunglasses on. But it was okay this time. I didn’t whine.
And of course, there is no ending. The way is open for number five. Milla is going to be playing Alice when she’d eighty. And if I’m still breathing, I’ll probably still be going to see her.
It is rated R, for all the Right Reasons. Nita didn’t go. In fact, she considers divorcing me every time I go to one of these, but I can’t stay away. It wasn’t that great, but I liked it anyway. I would recommend it to the South Park kids, but no one else.